A White Rose for Father's Day

----- Now I'll have to wear a white rose for Father's Day. I cringed bitterly as I gazed over the crowd gathered at my dad's funeral. His death was sudden. Too sudden. My thoughts went back five nights earlier.

----- "We'll come down Wednesday night and get a motel," he told me over the phone after church. "That way we can see Drema in her program.

----- Drema, our youngest, had a small but big part in her class's autumn program. With more than 170 other children in the second grade, it was an honor to have a speaking part, even if only a few lines. My parents didn't get down often, and we were excited

----- As we readied for school the next morning, the phone rang as our two oldest were fighting over the bathroom

----- "We can't make it down Wednesday after all," the caller said on the other end of the line, catching me by surprise. Not until I realized who the caller was, did I understand the call.

----- "I forgot. We have an important church board meeting Wednesday night. I'm sorry, but we'll try to make it down the next week. Maybe Friday," he concluded.

----- I knew how involved my dad was in his local church - he had been a deacon, a Sunday school teacher, an elder, the chairman of the board. He taught the adult Sunday school class. I understood and so did my wife.

----- "They're so busy," Marcella said as she combed out youngest's hair. "I would've been surprised if they had made it down.

----- After supper that evening, Drema and I sat down to our daily reading lesson. By 7:30, bath time was being discussed. We were deciding who had gone first last night and whose turn it was this night. The kids sat down to a few moments of television before their showers. The phone rang.

"Dale, I've got some bad news." It was my mother, and her voice was shaky. She paused and fought back whimpers. My thoughts quickly went to my grandmother who lives near her. Oh no, I thought. Grandma must have died.

----- Your dad died. The words changed against the edges of my consciousness, numbing my senses.

----- In times of tragedy, chaos reigns over those who are personally affected. My thoughts grew fuzzy as I tried to maintain composure. Could I be dreaming? My mother's gasping for breath and fighting back sobs brought me back to reality. I gained composure.

----- "Mom, what happened?

----- "A heart attack. He died in the emergency room about 6:30 this evening." Death can be quick and merciless.

----- The funeral was a large one. As an active church member and educator, my dad had lots of friends and associates and nearly every seat was filled. Even many elementary children came to say good-bye to their counselor. I looked back at all the family members and wondered what they were thinking, and then turned to face the crowd. Yes, we'd have to wear a white rose for Father's day this year

----- In the funeral car, my youngest brother moved in beside me and grabbed my arm.

----- "I was impressed," he said. "I couldn't believe the size of the crowd. I never realized how much influence a person could have."

----- I didn't say anything, just stared out the front window. It was true. Why hadn't I thought of it? Two memorials had already been established in my father's name, one for the church organ and the other for a graduating senior. His influence wasn't over. Then my mind quickly went back to the viewing room where my dad lay.

----- Staring at the open casket, I thought about a casket that Dad had carried back to Oklahoma from Kansas nearly 17 years ago, the one that took our first daughter to her final resting place. Now her grandpa would be next to her. How could he have done that? Could I have done that? I thought as I stared. I brushed back tears as I turned to leave. But, of course, tragedies can bring strength even to the weakest when we turn things over to the One who is stronger.

----- I looked up to see my dad's associate Sunday school teacher coming in to pay his respects.

----- "I was wondering if I could pin this on his lapel," the young man said. He handed me a little pin that was inscribed "Christian Educator." I reeled in sudden shock and braced myself against the doorjamb.

----- I'm sorry," I said. "The funeral will be closed casket. No one will be able to see it."

----- "That's all right. It's something I want to do."

----- The driver opened the car door and brought me out of my thoughts. Sure, we could celebrate Father's Day without him. We would celebrate his legacy - the importance of the Lord in his life, the importance of education, the importance of community involvement.; Celebrating Father's Day would be easy. Dad had left us a lot to celebrate.

----- I heard the starter grind as I smiled at my brother.

----- Yes, we would wear a white rose this year for Father's Day, proudly.

Published in THE LOOKOUT, Christian Standard on Father's Day, 1990, the year my dad died. He turned 70 the April before and died in October. The spring before, he want to his reunion at Granite, Oklahoma for the first time in his life. This article was published on June 17, 1990. Like Darla's article, this is one of my favorites. Dale